Thanks. Ive tried AA about four times over the years. I hate the meetings. I have a real problem talking to people. I dont like to be approached. Every time I have gone to the meetings strangers come up and talk to me and ask me personal questions that I feel are inappropriate. I know they are just trying to be nice and helpful and comforting. But I just want to sit and listen alone. I dont like touching strangers or strangers touching me. The hand holding at the end of the meetings really freaks me out. I dont want to say anything though because it would draw attention to me and make me look stupid. Maybe I am stupid.. I'm afraid of everything ...I can't answer the phone, I run up the hallway and hide if someone knocks at the door...
I dont want to face anything ever...think ill have a drink, that will make me feel better...ah there's the rub...you see it does make me feel better...but only until I wake up...wanting to die