I always stuffed my emotions and acted strong for the sake of survival in an alcoholic, abusive environment. Then came my first meeting at ACoA and my tears and emotions overflowed beyond my control. This program saved my sanity and well-being. I hope you will attend an ACoA meeting just as quickly as you can... I don't think you'll be sorry. I sure wasn't. It was the best thing I ever did for myself and I live in serenity and gratitude.
Good luck to you.
luv2all