Weight off my shoulders!
Today was great. I am proud of myself, and so grateful to have my mom—she is the only reason I stay sane sometimes….
Well my WONDERFUL loving mother came to visit me, and offered to help—which she did TREMENDOUSLY! My life was being weighed down with “things”—physical things. My apartment became an absolute disaster area—it was overwhelming to even look at—let alone start cleaning. I just had SO many “things” and nowhere to put them! My mom suggested we do a “clean sweep”, and offered to take all my stuff off my hands, and deliver it to Goodwill, charity, etc…“You’ll feel so much lighter” she said…and I DO!
In doing this, I realized a lot about myself…I let go of things I had held onto for YEARS—things that were weighing me down. I realized I had great guilt over giving things away—and today I realized—they are just “things”. Even some of the sentimental things—like the box of 100’s of greeting cards I have kept—the cards themselves are not what is important—it’s the people who wrote them. I was able to give away (donate) over ¾ of my “things” today (clothes, accessories, house wares, basically anything & everything!) –and it felt great!
I also realized that my guilt, or whatever else it might have been, had made me hold on to things I didn’t even like. I was surprised today, while going through my perfumes, I said aloud… “I don’t like this smell” and tossed it. Then I thought, “Wow! I never had said that before”…I just assume I might need it, or for some reason I need to keep it…without even considering if I like it or not! Ha!
I also gave away some really expensive designer purses—because I just don’t like them. The purses I ended up keeping are the ones I had bought—not based on their brand name—but ones I truly liked. I never thought I’d let go of these things—I’m ashamed to admit it now—I must not have bought them because I liked them, but because they were “designer”. However, it’s also nice to know the real me coming out :o)
Lastly, I was reading Bradshaw for the first time today, and he talked about something I now realize I am able to relate to…and this may explain part of my “hording”…how my dad always gave the impression of scarcity—there is not enough to go around—I was used to having to take all I could get before its taken away….I was used to hording things for myself…and further worrying about it…do I have enough? I need more! Half way thru cleaning I realized, I for some reason have 12 calculators, 3 wireless Internet routers (2 which are broke!), a paper shredder that’s doesn’t work, 20- 30 different body lotions….I could go on forever!
Today, not only did I take a MAJOR load off my shoulders…but I was able to get some insight into some of my behaviors, which is always nice :o)
Thanks for listening!
MUCH LOVE & SUPPORT ~Stephanie
(Sorry for another long post)