We all will hide from things every so often.
Even as I say... I am an alcoholic... I could be using that to hide from another issue.
I am impressed at how much you have learned and how you evaluate every thing. Some times though, we can over think things. Some times the answer is...just be yourself and slow down every so often as you do some thing nice for yourself. For me, spring will be here soon. I had seen my first robin of the season today. Below zero wind chill but I was able to slow down and just take a look outside and catch the moment.