miraculous LIFE CHANGING experience
Hello! I am completely new to this whole thing, and I just experienced the most LIFE-CHANGING, empowering, inspirational moment of my life.
I come from an abusive childhood, and until 2 days ago, I HAD NO IDEA of the detrimental effects it has had on me. 3 days ago was my 25th birthday, and I hit an all time low. I was (and I cant say that I have completely recovered), in complete depression, and on my birthday—February 10th, my boyfriend of years, broke up with me. He changed my life, because with nothing left, I was forced to look inside myself. Through the power of God, I somehow miraculously was able to find the strength to be honest with myself. I had to set aside my deep rooted fears, and discover my true emotions—buried under years of fear—and with the help of my loving mother, I was able to recall suppressed memories, and come to some sort of realization of my TRUE SELF! The self I had been denied of. I ALWAYS thought I was defective, and knew there was something wrong with me…and to realize there was not was incredible. Before I was numb…and TODAY, I HAVE NEVER FELT SO ALIVE!!!!! I will not—I CANNOT—go back to my fearful ways. I will not survive.
FILLED with bittersweet emotion, both incredibly sad for the helpless, and abused child inside me, and unbelievably happy for the new life which lies ahead…all I have wanted to do is, research, and write, and change me life! I feel like I won the lottery! There is nowhere to go from here but UP! I had so many emotions, it was hard to organize, and so I just started to write. I wanted to share my first day’s writings…dealing with my abusive dad, who I learned to feel emotionally responsible for. Then, I have added a poem about my TRUE inner-self, who I have oppressed and denied for 25 years. This poem has so much meaning for me, as I feel it might for others as well.
Last, my thoughts for today. Thank you for listening.