Welcome to SR Danyderk... we are glad you found us.
Yea .... Unfortunally there is no quick fix and it is overwhelming at times. To be honest it is a ride through H***.... but there is no other way to get to the other side without the ride.
So many emotions and so much confusion .... when my ex-abf stopped drinking and I did not have the alcohol to blame it through me for a loop that he was just as awful sober as drunk, he was just as selfish, selfcentered and rude. Imagine my shock!
Keep the Al-anon meetings and reading up, It also helped me to attend some open AA meetings so I could feel validation about what I was feeling and find a bit of compassion.
I look forward to getting to know you, keep posting and venting it help alot.