Newbie on a rollercoaster
After 15 years of drinking, my AH finally got sober about 5 weeks ago. I thought the drinking years were difficult, only to find out that I'm struggling more now. I fluctuate between hurt, confusion, resentment and just about every other negative feeling that exists.
The old armour of anger, rage and stuffing every feeling I had just don't work anymore. As a matter of fact, they seem to have disappeared. Where the heck is my protection? Still angry, but the explosion that generally followed that just isn't there. Still try to stuff, but that's become very difficult.
I have attended two Al-anon meetings which were helpful, read many, many posts on this site, and see an addiction counselor. I guess I'm just ready for a "quick fix" and really don't see that as being possible. I know that's a delusional thought. I know it takes work.
I guess I'm just feeling very overwhelmed by the absolute mountain of feelings. I wish the rollercoaster had a part of it that made me feel good. Right now it just feels like a ride through h***.