lilac....i understand how this feels. my xh was just as bad sober as he was drunk the past few years as his alcoholism progressed. he would say the most hurtful and downright nasty things.
i think it is because they are so unhappy with themselves. i always tried to imagine my x saying those things to himself, because i believed that is what he was doing....projecting his own anger and hurt.
love to you
hey....we're not too far away from each other lilac!!!! i live in extreme southern indiana....about 20 miles from the state line of ky.