You sound like you are stuck, stuck in the world of addiction and co-dependency.
Only you can pull yourself out. Where do you want to be 5 years from now? How are you going to get there, or, are you already there, where you want to be?
My father always says "Without a plan, you plan to fail"...I think he is right.
Days, weeks, months and years will continue to go by as they are, unless you are ready for change...that is to change you, that is the only person you can change.
My Best,
Dolly