okay, let's imagine we could do anything we wanted to change him.
You ask him to stop drinking. He says 'no', or says 'yes' but drinks anyway.
So let's take him by gunpoint and force him into a comfortable but bare cell. Let's keep him away from alcohol the whole time, detox if needed. Let's hold him in there while he talks to a therapist, is treated by a doctor, and eats three macrobiotic meals per day, and is forced to use the gym three time a week. Just for fun let's try to brainwash him and make him repeat "I want to be a healthy man" 2500x a day. During that time you visit him and tell him how much you love him.
Let's let him out in the world again. What do you think he'll do?
That was a fun idea even if it won't work. Let's try it on my exAH first ... please please please!
Sadly it's you or him. You can watch it happen, or you can live your own life while he makes his choice to drink his away. I've taken to the AA saying, "When she dies, HIS life is going to flash in front of her eyes."