It's been forever
I haven't written in months and months. For a while, things actually started looking up with my boyfriend. But then he got back on the xanaxes. Is anyone else amazed by all the pain such a little pill can cause? I finally had enough. When I told him I no longer cared what he did, he flipped out. Long story short, the police were called, and he ran. Now I'm the one having to deal with the court systems to get the restraining order and press charges. I'm the one having to take off of work because my mind is so messed up. I'm the one crying and feeling so much pain. Does anyone know what I mean? I keep going between wishing I could touch him, wishing he would kiss me and just adore me like he would when he was sober to trying to think of everything he did to hurt me, emotionally and physically so I can get mad and productive. I just feel so confused and alone. My doctor even had to up the dosage of my antidepressants. It just feels like I won't ever find someone to love and appreciate me. I'm only 20, but I feel so old and tired. Does anyone have any advice?