Hey there Missy,
I'm glad you found those meets useful. I got me one of those bookmarks right here with me too
Here's the way it works for me. I did _not_ face all the traumas of my life, and I had plenty of 'em. I just faced the ones I was ready for. My life with "toxic parents" was entirely black or white. Either they were passed out and harmless or they were drunk and raging. In recovery I learned that I don't have to live black or white anymore, I can pick any color I want in any intensity I want.
It's not going to kill you. Didn't kill any of us. I did it little by little and each time I "uncovered" another little trauma I felt better, and stronger. You won't get super lost and super scared. What I did was I slowly found the _real_ me that I had lost in my childhood.
As for that "stone cold" response of yours, I have it too. Now that I've gotten rid of most of my baggage in turns out I can _control_ that stone cold response. It makes me _very useful_ in emergency situations. You'll make an awesome nurse, ER doc, paramedic, firefighter, etc. I work in a profession where most of the time things are fine, but when they go bad they do so in a big way, and in a big hurry. The worse things get the cooler I become, and the more useful I am to the folks around me.
All those "negative" things I used to hate about _me_ I have turned around into assets. There's a saying that what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Well being an ACoA makes us the strongest people in the world.
Stay close to the people from those meets, and stay close to us, and all together we'll make it thru.
Mike
