C'est - how ya doing? where you at (with recovery)...I hope everything is going well
I'm well. I've been a little hesitant to talk here because I don't want it to sound like I'm "rationalizing" or sitting in a pool of denial. I stopped going to AA and feel better than I have in probably all my life. I don't know if those go hand in hand or not, and I don't want to turn anyone upside down if they read that. It was an amazing experience that I wouldn't trade for anything, but the more I go, the less I feel connected and the more obsessed I feel.
This book I read about keeping your life in balance has made a huge difference in my outlook. I'm not obsessing about drinking and I'm not obsessing about recovering. I'm just being good to myself and paying attention to my feelings and my health. It seemed that obsessing about whether or not I was going to a meeting if I felt bad wasn't keeping myself in balance. Please don't take this experience as the end all. I don't want to discourage anyone from going to AA. Everyone is different (despite what AA tries to claim, oh sorry I'm not here to bash).
I think my balance is going to be shot this week since we have company coming this weekend and my hub is out of town. I'll be here way too much and I really need to be cleaning.
Jane I just read what you wrote. wow, insightful. I need to follow your plan.