I need to ask this again..is your husband in some sort of recovery counselling or support group. My father up and quit drinking around the time I was born. If he didn't, it was gonna kill him. He quit on sheer willpower. He was a sober father but he was an angry man who pretty much yelled everything he said. I grew up just trying not to tick him off - walking on eggshells. I was terrified of my Dad...he did not physically abuse and I've often heard that emotional/verbal abuse can have much worse effects. My father (and I still love him dearly) couldn't help acting out on his issues. As I am now a recovering alcoholic I understand the wounds, fear, low self worth, insecurity, abandonment and control issues, etc etc...that he never truly addressed. He has mellowed with age as far as the anger...but unaddressed my parents eventually separated after 50 years due to my father's raging gambling addiction. Taking alcohol out of the man, does not fix him if there's something broke.