I would say that the best thing to do is seek the help of a marriage counselor.
You are justified in not trusting him (by what you posted) and a counselor will help you both find growth (if you are willing). Men think different then women and because of that...even when things are going well, we don't send the right signals or say the right words so you know we appreciate you.
As far as his not respecting your wishes...set boundries (rules you can live with) but if you set them, you need hold to them.