Mani81

My ex had not made any affort to patch things up during the holidays. Part of me was still holding out for him. But I guess if he wanted to make up he would have by now. He has join AA since new years day and has been going 3-4 times a week. He just kept saying his head is messed up and he doesnt know what to do. He is also crying a lot but so am I. He wants me to be there for him but not as a girlfriend. I really really tried my best but it's so hard knowing that he no longer want a life with me but just want me to be there WHEN he needs me. He said he would find it hard after all the things I said to him. What about the things he said to me??? None of his drinking mates has been around since he stopped drinking. During this whole thing he never once asked how I was. It's always me asking him how he's coping. I just cant face seeing him everyday. I cannot get over him if I see him everyday. I gave him 3 weeks notice to find another job last night. I dont have a choice. I cant put my life on hold in the hope that one day he would tell me he loves me again? We talked about the work situation before i said I'll try but I realized I just cant do it. I feel so bad.... I do want to be there for him. But right now he must hate me........I dont want him to hate me.