((((((((Josie))))))))))
Please, do not blame yourself. You didn't cause any of this. You are not responsible for your son's addictions. I know how much you love your sons and you would not wish this life on them or anyone else. You've dealt with an incredible amount of pain in your life and you should not feel guilty for the past.
I will keep praying that your sons find a better path and for you to have peace. Hang on to your grandson - he is precious and very lucky to have you in his life.
Take care and hugs,
JG