minah

Like many children of alcoholics, I vowed I’d never drink like my father. Nevertheless, I do get drunk; only I get drunk on feelings. If not checked, my hurt, anger, and fear can trigger a downward spiral that leaves me feeling completely unmanageable. I’m often unable to function as I allow my bad moods to drag me into a pit of depression. It’s as if I’m an emotional drunk. I can’t hold my feelings any more than an alcoholic can hold his or her liquor.

I use the First Step to accept that, just for today, I’m powerless by myself to stop these emotional binges once they gain momentum. I do have the power, however, to make small choices that reunite me with my Higher Power and the sanity spoken of in Step Two. Sometimes these choices are so small, all I need to do is to change the position of my hand. I remove it from my tearful face and pick up the phone to call my sponsor, read an issue of The Forum, or turn the ignition in my car and go to a meeting.

When I do one of these things, peace, and serenity begin to seep back into my mind and heart. Now I’m working on having my feelings while not allowing them to control me. I pray daily for the ability to feel and to express my emotions in ways that honor me, and those people who touch my life.

Thought for the Day
If I make myself available, my Higher Power can do for me what I cannot do for myself.

“…In Al-Anon we found a Twelve Step program of spiritual help and human caring that has brought us the priceless gift of serenity and has shown us a path toward emotional maturity that was lacking in our families.” From Survival to Recovery, p. 19