Originally Posted by
Cynay 
But my issues are…. I want to be Normal. I want a normal life where the questions of Alcoholism are not a daily issue. I don’t want my life to revolve around AA/Al-anon functions, or my only friends being in the program… I don’t want to come in second to his recovery. I just want a normal relationship.
What is normal? Don't we (at least we ACOAs) spend our life *guessing* at normal? I sure do.
And, careful what you ask for. I know many alcoholics who are healthy and self-aware and many *normies* who are positively clueless.
Originally Posted by
Cynay That being said, we know that an Alcoholic is always an Alcoholic right? That there sobriety depends on their working a program and paying attention everyday. If an Alcoholic does not work a program I have found they usually go back to “stinking thinking” and are more like a dry drunk…. Do you think a Codi does too??? Do we fall back into our unhealthy behavior? I know for me when I’m angry/hurt I can go back there in a heartbeat… Will it always be like this?
Yes and yes, IMO. A codie can also be dry - angry, needy and spiritually unfit, yes? We have a daily repreive, not a cure.
Originally Posted by
Cynay It has been pointed out that I will not be able to have a normal relationship/life because I’m not normal. I will always have to work on my recovery as well or I will fall back into the “stinking thinking” That I will never be normal. Just like an Alcoholic can never recover…. That I will never “recover” either. That in some way I will need to always work my program, maybe not to the extent I do today, but in someway.
Acceptance is the answer for me. Things really changed when I really accepted myself for what I truly am - addict, alcoholic, ACOA... these are no longer *bad* labels for me. They mean I get to work on my stuff and have amazing growth as a result.
Only you have the answers, Cynay. (That's the hard part, eh?) Keep the faith in yourself - in that little inner voice that *knows*.