Originally Posted by
Durango 
My son...Here's the problem. It's been months and he still doesn't have a job. ....
I started out being very supportive, driving him everywhere he had to be like court, probation officers, drug/alcohol test (everyday), AA meetings, job applications, community service, counselor appointments, plus I was paying for all these,....
Me too! At one point I was working harder at her recovery than she was!!! (a clear indicator of co-dependency)
Originally Posted by
Durango .... I'm waking up at 2 am worrying about my money running out and my health getting worse fromt the stress. (I have psoriasis and it flairs horribly when I'm stressed, plus my blood pressure is up)
Me too! I am currently dealing with health problems that began last December after a terrible year of stress dealing with one "life and death" crisis after another.
Originally Posted by
Durango So I'm at the point now where I have to redefine the boundaries of my "help" and what I'm willing to do. I have a difficult time confronting these issues and risking someone's anger, but I'm learning to stand up for myself and it's getting easier.
He's already messed up twice since he came here Oct. 23....
I guess I'm going to try to talk to him tonight and let him know that I'm not able and willing to be responsible for what he has to pay, so it looks like he may have to face going back to jail. This is where I'm breaking the codie chain...
yep. been there, done that!!
Hi Durango -
Wow, I read your post closely because it sounds so much like my own situation. I can really relate to everything you are saying... My 23 year old alcoholic daughter goes to AA, but she regularly slips....I foot the bill for a lot of her requirements, except after she spent some of her rent money last fall, I set a firm boundary that I would not pay her rent... (she lives in a town nearby and welfare takes care of that)...
being an alcoholic, she spent 150 dollars of her rent money over Christmas, and of course, she expected me to pay the difference. After almost getting physically sick, and after much turmoil, I said no - very simply, a boundary is a boundary... but I did suggest some ways she could manage that situation for herself...
It is so hard dealing with an alcoholic aldult child - al-anon gives me tremendous strength, especially in setting and keeping healthy boundaries... It sounds like you're getting a good start on your recovery!