I went to my first meeting (in 10 years) last night. My AS went to the AA mtg. at the same time and we had a good conversation about it on the way home. Now if I can just make myself get there every week and, a biggie for me, call someone when I'm feeling stressed out, then I think I'll be on the road to recovery.
AS must be using his HP to get him through this because he is facing his 2 probation officers today without the money he's supposed to pay them. His younger (half)brother picked him up and is taking him to the appts. (2 different districts). I guess the worst that can happen is they will give him another court date for a probation violation. Or, it's possible that his brother might offer to loan him the money. I'm quite sure that AS has made a few comments about me "cutting him off", but really, I'm not going to try to predict what he said or didn't say...that's out of my control. See? I learned something already.
One thing I DO know is that it was tough watching him leave the house without the money to pay the PO's. Whew. It sure seems easier to cover the legal stuff and try to convince him later that he's GOT to take this responsibility and find a job, even if there IS none! I guess I'm still thinking that he and I can do this together. He IS managing the not drinking and going to meetings, but not much else. I even told him that I'm proud of him for what he's doing but he's got to do more than just stay sober.
I wrote the letter I mentioned yesterday, but haven't given it to him yet. Still afraid of saying what I feel. I guess I'll wait and see what the results are from his appointments, plus his attitude, then decide whether it's worth the effort to give it to him.
I noticed at the meeting last night that my psoriasis has spread down my arms and on my hands. The outbreak is due to the added stress. Crap!!