Wooooow Lucy, the lying about with a bottle drinking reminds me way too much of me.... depressed, bottle in hand... up to my bedroom, drank til I was numb and passed out.... repeat as necessary... a year later decided to sober up... not good, really not good.
In terms of the question you posed, I am both an alcoholic (recovering) and an ACOA. My childhood was extremely traumatic. I am in a new relationship, the first in five years... it has proved trying for me and for my signif. other... I find that I do feel like pushing her away, wanting my "space" ... wanting to be "alone" because that is safe and known... can't have a fight or be abused if you are alone... oh wait, you can abuse yourself by drinking heavily...
So, in short, yes my experience as an ACOA is that I have sought out partners in the past that are emotionally unavailable ... take the woman I was engaged too... she would give me the silent treatment at will ... while it drove me nuts, I stayed because either that was what I felt I deserved or that at least I knew what I was getting and I could control her reactions by preempting it in some way.... then when I get into a relationship with a woman that isn't emotionally cold I have trouble because I don't trust easily... I am always testing to see if she really loves me... seeing if she will leave.... then feeling guilty that she has to deal with me and my baggage... which there is apparently a lot of...
But I am trying, I am serious about her and she is aware of my own usual desire to push people away when they get close and she just calls me on it... I have to work at it to trust, but I am learning to and opening up to her isn't really scary, trusting is the scary part for me...
Not sure this helps, but yes.... Levi