Good post, Minah. I, too, fell before the altar of shoulds and musts. And you are right; I am hardest on myself. It also does damage every relationship. But the insight that you offered about trying to control people to validate the way we are living, really knocked my socks off. Yep. That's it. Honest. Raw. Me, too.
Gulp.
Today I will offer that to my HP and ask for a loving heart.
HAppy holidays.