a christmas shopping story and a man...oh my
so i was lookin at hallmark christmas ornaments....first time i've been to the next town over from me in a year.....and i hear someone say....jeri, is that you???
i turn round, and there stands an old flame from over 27 years ago. we had dated for about 2 years one time....till he went to texas to visit his children and brought back some excess baggage....his ex!!!!
well, i couldn't believe it......he was old!!!! real old!!!!! so, i have a question, what happened to me these past 27 years, cause i still feel like i did when i was 27!!!!! there's just another woman wearing my clothes, is all.
anyway, it was so nice to see him.....i was glad back then when he went back to his family.....that was how it should have been....and he was honest about it with me....so no hard feelings there....
they are divorced.....again.....and we had lunch. very nice. it felt good. no expectations. i felt so wonderful...confident, assured, calm....
ya know, i'd been saying that i was going to try to make eye contact with the male species, but i just can't do it.....and then here was this opportunity for me to do so....in the form of a familiar, good person, of which there were no mutual expectations.
we went to olive garden for lunch....he asked if i'd like a glass of wine with our meal....my eyes felt all squeezy, throat got tight, heart started palpatating, and i felt a panic attack coming on....but i just smiled with this frozen smile on my face like a stepford wife,,,,,and said sure.
after all, i'm not the alcoholic, i enjoy wine with a meal.....and even if this man had the misfortune of being an alcoholic, there were no expectations, except i was already planning on how i would get his keys and drive us back to my car, and dump his drunk a$$.
so the waitress poured two samples for us to taste, we chose, and we ate, laughed, reminisced, and guess who drank all the glass of wine.....yep, me.
he didn't even finish his. and i was eyeballing it like crazy.
isn't it weird.....these aftereffects of living with alcoholism.....at least i didn't go into full blown panic attack at the mention of wine.....i said the serenity prayer, made plans for my safe return, and enjoyed.
i know this is long....thanks for reading
love to all
jeri