minah

I turned my back on religion many years before my first Al-Anon meeting, so when the meeting ended with a closing prayer, I wondered how I could pray without feeling false. I closed my eyes and bowed my head, but I didn't say the prayer. I feared someone would tap me on the shoulder and tell me to say the prayer. The prayer ened, and no one chastised me. Instead, I was given literature and encouraged to return

Although I didn't know it when I first walked through Al-Anon's doors, the words "must" and "should" nearly ruined my relationship with my daughter and with my spouse. I had no awareness of the role that "iron rules" played in my life. My chattering mental voice applied these rules to myself, and in turn I applied them to everyone else.

Life was not comfortable because I was constantly on guard. Al-Anon helped me see that right and wrong were not the issues. The important issues were maintaining my serenity, making contact with my Higher Power, and keeping my mouth shut about other people's business.

I used to think of myself as a responsible, disciplined adult. Yet the love and support of my fellow Al-Anon members showed me that my rigidity was a wall that hid my fear. Acceptance of my self-doubts enabled me to start turning away from the "musts" and "shoulds." Now I am gentler with myself and others. Years after my first meeting, I stand gratefully in the circle and choose to say the closing prayer.

Thought of the day
There are no "shoulds" in Al-Anon. The program only suggests I practice the Steps, Traditions, Concepts of Service, and slogans to the best of my ability.

"In addition to offering healing for a hurt spirit, the fellowship offers empathy and choice." As We Understood... , P. 29