Hello and thankyou....
all very much for sharing stories and without knowing it helping me immencely.
I have started to go to AA meetings made the mistake of not going last Thursday and had a real bad day monday where I actually blacked out frightened the heck out of me as I have children. Feel a bit better today tonight is coming up to day three of being sober but when I get those urges they terrify me as Im so deterimined to do this why oh why does these dam thoughts come like "your not that bad" ( yeah Im worse) Ill drink when my husband goes away next month ( I dont want to!! I like this feeling of waking up and not being in pain with a bad headache and the horrible nausea feeling and the anger and pain in my husband and childrens eyes. I know my trigger points are lonelyness and boredom hence why Im prattling on here at the moment and Im off tonight to another meeting still painfully shy to speak but really really want to at the same time. also hate this time of year as you see people happily buying their wine for christmas and know as a alcoholic ( just started calling myself that) that I cant as those people buying it can stop at one or two glasses not me who can down 1,2, and last Monday THREE bottles of wine.
So I just want to thankyou all and thank God for directing me to this place may I come back and boast of being sober for a week then two weeks then four then then then the pain the urges of drinking will be a distant memory.
Ang