sisterray

For 21 years starting when I was 18 and I'm 40 now, I bartended. I poured drinks for everyone's husbands, and listened to their problems while I poured them more drinks. I quit because the guilt was getting to me. I even poured my guy more drinks than I want to remember. It was my job. I couldn't not serve them unless they were falling down. I did do small things, I watered down their drinks. I called their wives. I snuck and called the cops a few times when they insisted on driving and wouldn't give me their keys. I gave them rides home. I quitely told their wives they were at the bar when they called, even if they said "I'm not here". But I still did it, and I contributed to a lot of home problems, for the sake of tips and a paycheck. I read something in a post this morning that got me thinking about this. I want to say I'm sorry. I listened and thought I was "helping" while at the same time, I was pouring them their paychecks in liquid form. Now that I have stopped, I go track him down in bars to get the paycheck, just like I saw many wives do while I was working. I am lucky a bit in that many places won't serve him because they know me. I guess what comes around, goes around though. I never really even noticed how bad his drinking had become until I quit my job and got out of that scene. Then I was on the other side, dependant on his income, and seeing how much of it he drank. Just sorry. Lori