You know what.... I know this is going to sound really strange but Im going to give it a shot anyway.
I think we all come to recovery at our time.... It is harder for some of us then others and some of us make more mistakes then other. Im guilty of it, I married an Alcoholic and when my daughter was 2 I left him... only to date others and I have been unable to give her the life she should have had. I started theraphy when my daughter was born, that is when my recovery began and I can tell you today 17 years later I still have a crap load of recovery to do. I have no doubt my daughter will have to go to theraphy for the mistakes I have made as well.... I am far from perfect and I have to trust and believe God knows what he is doing.
I am the adult child of an abusive alcoholic, in the family that did not break up. My Mom was the alcoholic, while my father was the Codi.... Today I do not hate my life, It has created who I am today.... I think Im exactally who I was ment to be. My parents did the best they could with what they had to work with. I will not get into conversations defending her/his actions.... but I will tell you that considering what I know about her childhood and life... I know she did the best she could as did my father. My parents stayed together till my Mother was the last to pass over almost 4 years ago. The last 10 years of theraphy, recovery and communication has taught me what a beautiful, amazing human they both were.
I do hate the disease but not the person. I do believe we get recovery when we are ready and FM I do believe you are doing the best you can today. Please always remember to take what you like and leave the rest. It does not always end up with the child growing up to be a angry/diseased human.... sometimes we have to struggle more, but we do make it too. I cant tell you why there is Alcoholism, Cancer, Countries where children are born with Aids and starve to death.... I dont know and I dont know why there is so much pain.... I have my guesses....but since "he" wont tell me the big plan .... they are only guesses.