Inadvertantly I think you have stated one of my points. You say that you have seen your own growth through the chidlrens hardships. I think our kids should be growing through pur hardships. When we have children, they come first, instead, sometimes they just get fit in. This may be unpopular but I do think there are times when there is no room or time to consider our recovery. There are times when children should be removed. Most would agree with that until someone stands at our door to take our kids because we are the exception of course. As one of the pediatricians said to me, commons sense has to enter into it. It scares me sometimes to see the lack of parental instinct.