the only way to help him is to stop helping him. Leave him alone. Dont' fix things, dont' look up things, don't find things. If he really wants to change he'll find a way. So long as you do it for him he's not really changing.
He is an adult. He must take on the responsibilities of one. You're not his mother and he's not a baby, he's just trying to act like one and he'll keep it up as long as you let him. Sure if he were a normal person having a bad day you'd help, but he's not normal is he? normal people don't have bad days every day 24/7.
Nothing you do for him will work. That's the hardest most painful part. Knowing that the best thing you can do for him is walk away from him. that just about did me in, realizing that my help was making him worse.
Don't sweat the marriage vows. He's not capable of keeping up his end so you're off the hook. I just tell people that A) god does not want me to be miserable and b) I didn't sign up to be married to a 5 year old.