Dear Queen, You picked your name you are the queen. Think that. Now what will you and will you not tolerate. I hope you did go to the party there will be a next time though through the holidays make a party with friends dress up go out. There is no reason to tolerate their behavior. Prodigal is right. It sounds like you just got mad at yourself been there and done that too. I get soooooooo mad at myself for not tapping into what al-anon shows me through the 12 steps and when I get to the anger I try to give it over through prayer. I hope that you get your balance back soon. This week it has taken me 5 days to balance that is bad. My ex's mom may she rest in peace said "What doesn't kill you makes you strong." I live that. Wishing you peace today. Irsh