Yes I agree I have palns to "NOT BE DRAWN INTO YOUR @#$%"
I told my husband one time. "If you see me take the keys out my purse....you better head for the car...cause I am out the door." It is nice to have a signal worked out in advance.
Also it is good to have clear "no way no how" events beforehand. Like if dad does this.....I...run like h$##. Or I go to the bathroom until the dust settles.
My brother always has a meeting to go to. It is almost like it is planned....hmmm...Holiday time extra stress...extra meetings. Don't ya love it.