It's been a week and two days since my last drink and for some reason I am having a real craving right now. I would just LOVE a martini... Three olives... mmm.... Most evenings have been tough, but tonight's the worst!!!! I went until about 4:30PM -- and wham!!!! I ate something instead, and on the way home from dropping kids off somewhere (just about a half hour or so ago) all I could do was imagine myself with that drink. My mouth actually watered.
SOOOOO -- I'm taking a sanity break. My husband's out at a black tie event and I'm here at home with the cabinet ... and luckily ... this computer, thank God, so I can post to get it out.
We're getting a tree this weekend. My brother's bringing a good beer to the BYOB restaurant we go to every year, so I had to let him know not to count on me. He was surprised. No one really suspects the extent of the porblem I've been having. The holidays are going to be a nightmare.
Funny -- a lot of the time (during the a.m. and early afternoon) I'm telling myself how wonderful it feels not to be in a fog. How enjoyable it is to feel really AWAKE to all that's going on around me. To take the kids in. To breathe deeply... and to feel content. That's what the past week has given me. IT'S THE EVENINGS THAT ARE HARD!!!!
Many of you have suggested AA meetings. Problem is: I simply couldn't fit one more single thing into my life. Running these four kids around -- Work, Regional/National Soccer events, my son's band, horseback riding, theatre, cello lessons, voice lessons, volunteering, school sports, etc. I thank all of you (and the people making this board possible) for being such a big help to me.
Without the Lord, prayer and all of you -- I'd be lost.
I feel better now.
Liz