What is happening for me as my husband is nearing his 2 year sobriety birthday and it was after his first year clean before I realized I was to have NO EXPECTATIONS from him. I rebelled, I thought what a cop out, then slowly my higher power showed me ways that I could understand. My first was I would not ask someone with a spinal cord injury to climb on top of a counter and get something off a high shelf for me. Sometimes they are not capable of it at first. Like everyone says, one day at a time. This was a slow process for me, and now I am seeing if I am able to live like this. For today, I can.