It is so sad when adults won't take responsibility for their stuff. I have found when someone else blames me for their stuff that it is possible I am taking too much responsibility for them.
So, if someone is blaming me for their terrible life I can say let me take a few steps back so you can step up to the plate and get control of your life...I can also say Oh...then take a few steps back. It is only my fault if I let it be.