Something that took me ages to learn....we don't have to "react". Reacting to anger with more anger just fuels the fire and makes us a reflection of them and draws us into the unpleasant feeling. Taking a pause, thinking about what I want to say and then "responding" rather than reacting now reflects my ability to think before I speak.
I set a boundary for myself that the moment a conversation gets heated or becomes disrespectful...it is over, until everyone can cool down and try again if they wish to discuss something. I hang up (gently, not slamming) or walk out of the room or the house until I find peace. This usually leaves them yelling at the wind.
We don't have to participate in anyone's bad behaviour. We have choices. I have no idea why it took me ages and ages to learn that.
Hugs