thank you all for responding
I really needed to be grounded by the words of experience and al anon. You are all right, of course, that the focus needs to be on my recovery and a healthy life for my daughter.
It is easy to get caught up in the excitement of friends and family who want so bad for things to work out. That is what was tugging at my heart strings most, that I seemed to be the only pessimist.
I spent quite a bit of time in the Alcoholics forum last night to get a feel for what things are like for them as well. That provided more reality.
One thing said here has gone straight to my mind and really stuck. It was the notion that it would all be about him again. That is so darn true.
I do not like the situation I am in at all. I would not be OK if he were to become active again. I'd want out again. Yet I cannot see myself saying "No, I won't give you a chance, because there is no guarantee you will make it."
I guess right now I am in One Day at a Time mode right along with him. I need to decide if I want to say 'let's be friends' and just choose someone else.
Thank you all for listening and responding.