My First Post
Hi- This is my first post. I just saw this board today.
My husband of 28 years is an alcoholic, and I'm getting fed up with his behavior. I don't know what to do, I don't have anyone to talk to about it.
Please give me your input, as you might have more experience with this than I do.
He was injured several years ago and pain medications and physical therapy didn't work as well as alcohol to numb his pain. It is in his shoulders so sleeping is his worst pain, so he drinks every night so he can sleep. (He also takes other prescription medications to help with the pain.) He drinks typically 12 beers each evening. Sometimes he drinks some tequila or more beers and that's when he gets really drunk. He had black outs and doesn't remember the stupid things he does. I tell him though.
He is depressed and feels very bad right now. He hates himself and I know alcohol is a big part of that. He went to a therapist who referred him to a psychiatrist, who put him on antidepressants and told him to stop drinking. I was hoping hearing that from someone other than ME would encourage him to get help and stop.
Instead he swears that he hates drinking, he doesn't even like the taste, but he has to so he can sleep. He's claimed that all along from when he first began drinking.
So, is he telling the truth? Who can help him to stop? How can he stop if his shoulders make it too painful to sleep? Or is he exaggerating his shoulder pain? I can't feel his physical pain, but I do believe that he is in pain when he tries to lay down.
Our children are grown. My husband is not abusive nor does he drive drunk, he just goes to sleep at home. But he does stupid things when he's drunk like last night I heard him in the bathroom taking pills - and there are no pills of his in there - so what was he taking? I'm sure he had no clue!
If he stopped drinking I am sure his depression would be better.
I don't know how to help him, or how to help myself. I can leave him, I want to almost every day. But I haven't threatened that to him.
Any advice from you?? Thank you!