Weibe,
As I often hear, give sobriety a try if not fully satisfied we'll refund your misery and hand you a drink as a bonus!
In all seriousness, your doing well believe it or not, progress in mind or actions is still progress. You'll get there! Your still in that "fear of sobriety stage" I think. That's ok
too. I'm confident your gonna make it because I know you want to, it takes some getting used to and then one day you WILL have that single 24 hours, and before you know it your in double digits!
Keep praying. Since you don't have an AA near by if you haven't already found it here is the Serenity prayer we say before each meeting:
"God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference."
Works for me all the time!
Keep reading that dusty Big Book too!