Life issues don't always come in the convenient timing of recovery. We have a right to know what WE are investing ourselves into. Recovery can be just as selfish as drinking. The world does not stop spinning for this womans recovery, and it is arrogant for her to put you off. I remember going into court with my ex who expected applause for his recovery efforts. If I had to explain the affairs I had, I'd put it off too or I'd accuse you of twarting my recovery. I'd blame alcohol and tell you not to revisit the past. Maybe she stopped drinking too late. Maybe the damage is done. What part of your marriage is your business?