I appreciate the feedback from all.
CMC: I believe it is enabling because my W traded one addiction for the other. Alcohol for the high of the emotional and physical connections which occured immediately after leaving rehab. Not adressing the behavior and consequenses would be enabling in my opinion because she is not being held accountable for her actions. By obliging her wishes to not address the situation to me is equivalent to walking on eggs shells or ignoring the elephant in the room.
I truly appreciate the need for her to work the recovery but the affairs added a new twist that need to be handled like another active addiction because that is what they are.