still truggling
My A wife is over 90 days in recovery and had an EA and PA with people she met in rehab. She appears to be doing well in her recovery and I'm trying with mine.
A major part of my recovery will be to address these affairs at some point and to try to work on our marriage. She is simply not ready for this but was ready to maintain inappropriate relationships with other people (this seems to be over thank god), and to develop very strong relationships with her AA network of friends.
I can understand her need for support in the AA network but it seems unfair that I'm so low on her priority list. She talks with them dozens of times a day, goes to meetings nearly every night and goes out to a diner afterward for coffee, etc. I'm glad she's working her program but I'm not at all part of it. My therapist agrees that I need to be part of it in some small way.
This is tough, life is tough. I lost my wife to alcohol and now that she's back I lost her to AA. Don't get me wrong, I feel fortunate at this point for her strong desire for sobriety and I don't want to stand in her way but I also want just a little piece of her for me. I guess this is to be expected but I still don't have to like it.
She is not willing to discuss our relationship or the affairs for another 90 days. This is some arbitrary moratorium suggested by her therapist. I don't expect miracles over night nor do I expect to discuss this everyday, just occasionally. I don't like the fact that she is disctating the terms and I feel that if I obliger her that I'm enabling. She needs to face life and all of it's ugliness rather than hide behind her need for sobriety and difficult issues. Delaying this is just avoiding the inevitable. I don't know that I have much choice.
I just needed to vent. Thanks.