I'm sorry to say this lovelife, but it sounds like you made a bad trade. You gave up being able to look at yourself in the mirror without guilt and disdain, just to get someone to talk to you.
I'm not saying this as a putdown. I'm saying this to get you to look at the hard truth, so that you won't be tempted to do that to yourself ever again. You are human and we all make mistakes like this sometimes in our lives. The key is to LEARN from your mistakes.
When it comes down to it, I'm sure that everything will work out okay in the end.