I can relate
Hi. I'm new here, and was just going through posts. I read yours and thought, . . .that's me. My mom is/was a raging alcoholic who became quite abusive when drinking. My father didn't acknowledge me until I was 18 years old because it was inconvenient to leave the bar long enough to do so. I too feel the anger and frustration. I have made a decent adult life for myself. I have an amazing husband and a beautiful daughter. Though I have not had problems with drinking, I do not react to situations the way "normal" people do. I am often moody, or sad, and it is difficult for friends and family to understand. It's certainly not fair that we have to live with these scars that will never fully heal. The important thing, at least for me, to remember is that the things that happened in my childhood were unfair, and horrible. But they are in my past. The best way I can keep taking care of myself, and the child inside who so longs for affection, is to do it better than they did. So each day I put one foot in front of the other and do my best to love the people in my life, and most importantly to love myself. Just because my parents didn't, doesn't mean I can't. Good luck.