The Phantom Strikes Again
By Ward T.
< My first hand experience with AA spans nearly 3 decades. I have seen during that time a significant change in the organization, a move away from a general benevolent tolerance under the influence of the then existing "oldtimers" who had been around in the early years of AA. Today's "oldtimers" have come of age in an established mainstream organization. There is very little tolerance for anything that varies from what they know as the one true way. – B. >
I went to an AA meeting the other night and while speaking ended up giving a sort of farewell speech. I explained how I wanted to continue in AA as a supplement to SOS but the cold shoulders I've been receiving lately have led me to drop out totally.
I explained how surprised I was at a lot of the old timers and even newbies at how closed-minded they were to an alternative. Recovery should be our main goal, I continued, and that AA'ers should review all the new alternatives and educate themselves on them so if another person like myself comes to the program you can offer alternatives.
I explained how disappointed I was in the lack of support. I guess it can be expected. As I spoke more there was chattering and some chuckling developing in the back. After I finished and introduced the next speaker some robots clapped (I know it wasn't because my speech was uplifting) and several others including my sponsor didn't.
AA'ers always spoke to me about my fair weather friends when I was drinking -- put down the drink and then see if they still come around. It's so hypocritical now that I'm working my recovery in another direction. I've been hanging with an AA'er for over 5 years and we became pretty close. He was a very good friend of my family. Since I started to work SOS he's been scarce and now I find out he organized a golf trip (we were close golfing partners) of AA'ers and didn't even tell me about it. So much for that.
I'm done with AA. For my own therapy I went out last night to three AA meetings in my area and distributed over 100 flyers under windshields. I made sure I went early to catch the beginners meetings. It felt good to distribute the materials, I feel like such a rebel. I should get a costume with a cape and mask: The Phantom of SOS strikes again! Nah -- too weird.