So, jeri,
One quick other thought about your question.
My Alanon sponsor often says "life is hard, but drama and suffering are optional"
We talk about how I need to sacrifice (her word, not mine) my feelings of anger, resentment, irritation, impatience, etc "for the benefit of the greater good", and that in order to do that it helps to turn them over to my higher power. While that is hard to do, often the willingness to let go allows the situation to improve.
Whatever the situation was. Hope that may help in some way.