In the end i knew i drank because I was an alcoholic and that's what alcoholics do.
They drink. The reason is they are addicted to alcohol. At some point it makes no difference how you got there. You are ill from drinking, and you get ill from not drinking. It is horrible place to be trapped--where sobriety is an altered state.
That is why i drank. In the end it was because i was an alcoholic, and the booze always whispered in my ear--oh what a favor.