Welcome ... Im glad you here...
To answer your big question:
Does this ever get easier?
If you really want it too and are ready to go to any lengths to have peace and senerity .... then I can tell you a definate YES it gets easier.
The bad news is it hurts like hell before you get there.
I do completely understand what you feel.... when I was 21 I felt the same way about my Mother. I also would get physically sick and I struggled with all the internal chaos ... while on the outside no one could hear me screaming.... most because I would not let them in. I struggled trying to understand how my Dad could let this happen.... Your not alone in any of this.
I was 27 when I started to seriously work though all my issues and I was willing to do anything not to feel like I did and to change the person I was becoming. Very Intense theraphy is how I started the process.
Today I use Theraphy (yep still go back off and on for different reasons) Al-anon, Open AA meetings, SR and I read everything I can get my hands on.
I look forward to getting to know you, please keep posting and sorting through it all, life is soooo worth it.