Ahhh sweetie...
You know the drill, you know the ups and downs and the emotional black hole.... we all go there from time to time. Im really glad that you came here and poured it out and Im also glad you have RL friends to hold you ....
I have been a single Mom for 15 years... boy do I ever know the pressures...You have been trying to get in touch for sometime now. I know its important to you and your son... but maybe its time to give that one up to God hon. It is just not the right time.
As far as you ex goes.... quack quack quack.. he is sick and just not worth the pain sweetie. You deserve so much more then that.
SO ... you did not say ... are you out of that black hole yet?