Well, I think some of this just needs som retraining. I think it is excellent that you are thinking of reestablishing some relationships. I think that's a great sign that you are healing. That doesn't make it painless. I think you are coming to a place where contact with this alcoholic is so unsettling, it isn't worth factoring him in at all. He won't give you the number. OK then, theree has to be another way to get the number. I think it may not be as hard as you think. In the end, you may discover that the alcoholic is the one who is making your life so frustrating and when you skip his input, simple things are simple. Your son sounds like a sweetheart. I think you can find grandpa. This will make you feel good and empowered. Make it your mission to bulldoze past pain because you can succeed. Who else in your life thinks you are dumb. That's right, no one. Why take the word of someone who is mean, unkind and drunk most of the time? When is the last time your husband made anyone feel good about themself?